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Those steps act as a guide for developing protective behaviors against abuse which can help you become aware of the nature of the issue, take actionable steps towards both preventing and responding to abuse, and create a safe environments for the children in your home.
The 5 Steps for Protecting Children is a framework for preventing child sexual abuse.
Step 1- Learn the Facts and signs
Accepting the fact that child abuse is a real secret pandemic and it can many bring many long-term consequences will help better protect the children in your home .
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Experts show that 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before they turn 18 years old.
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30% of children are abused by close family members.
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Approx. 60% are abused by people the family trusts.
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About 35% of victims are 11 years old or younger.
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Nearly 40% are abused by older or larger children.
Fact about Stranger, Friend and Family
Research shows that the greatest risk to children about sexual abuses doesn’t come from strangers but from friends and family. Remember pedophile looks like everyone else. About 10% of children who are sexually abused are abused by strangers. In fact, they often go out of their way to appear trustworthy, seeking out options where they can gain easy access to children, such as sports leagues, faith centers and more.
Health Issues/ Child Abuse
Research shows that child abuse is linked to health and social problems we face in our communities.
Those consequences to children begin immediately.
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One study showed that among male survivors, 50% have suicidal thoughts and more than 20% attempt suicide.
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70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use.
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Abused young girls are more likely to develop eating disorders as adolescents.
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Both males and females who have been sexually abused are more likely to engage in commercial sexual activity (prostitution).
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The CDC estimates that child abuse costs us billions annually.
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Children who are sexually abused who keep the abuse a secret or who “tell” and are not believed are at greater risk for psychological, emotional, social, and physical problems, often lasting into adulthood.
Step 2-Minimize Opportunity
Research shows that about 80% of sexual abuse cases happen when your kid left alone with someone whether a trust friend, family or stranger. Abuser can be your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your child's teacher, a relative, a coworker Eliminate or reduce one-on-one situations between children and adults, as well as children and other youth, will drastically reduce the risk of sexual abuse.
Grooming-Knowing the Signs
Grooming is one way that abuser may use to create a relationship with a child. According to Darkness to Light, grooming is a process by which abusers look for the victims weaknesses cover their needs and develop a secret relationship them.
The 6 Stages of Grooming
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Targeting the Child​
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Gaining the Child’s and parent Trust, e.g. “I know you have been trough a lot lately, i am here to help you.
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Filling a Need, e.g. I know you love chocolate, I got you this one.
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Isolating the Child physically and emotionally, play empathetic role so he/she can gain the kid trust. Offer Special trips, one-on-one coaching, babysitting, etc.
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Slowly turn the relationship into sexual e.g. “Have you ever watched porn? I can show you what it is.” “do you know what is masturbation's? it's fun i can teach you
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Imposing Control, e.g. don't tell no one, something bad could happen to you and your family.​
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Think carefully about the safety of situations in which older youth or adult have access to younger children. Ensure other are present or supervise by camera
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Avoiding isolated, one-on-one situations with children other than your own.
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Understand that abusers or pedophile often become friendly and they can take advantage of your vulnerability
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Monitor children’s Internet use.
How to lower risk?
Step 3- Be Open, Talk about it
Encourage children to share. Learn to talk openly about our bodies, sex, & boundaries to help reduces stigma.
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Teach children to create boundaries with their bodies to avoid sexual behaviors
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Teach your kid what parts of their bodies others are not allow to touch in any circumstances.
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Teach them that the abuser can be an adult friend, family member, or older youth.
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Teach children their limit on the internet including not to give personal information such as email addresses, home addresses, and phone numbers.
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Start early and talk often. Use everyday opportunities to talk about sexual abuse.
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Be proactive. If a child seems uncomfortable, or resistant to being with a particular adult, ask why.
Talking to Kids About Sexual Abuse
Step 4- Be Aware of the signs
Emotional and behavioral changes are often the most common signs of child victim of sexual abuse However, Signs of abuse are not always obvious, but they are often there. .
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Physical signs of sexual abuse are not common, although redness, rashes/swelling in the genital area, urinary tract infections, or other such symptoms should be carefully investigated. Also, physical issues associated with anxiety, such as chronic stomach pain or headaches, may occur.
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Emotional or behavioral signals are more common:
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“Too perfect” or overly compliant behavior
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Behavioral problems, physical aggression, non-compliance, and rebellion
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Anxiety, depression, fear, withdrawal, and suicidal thoughts
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Nightmares, bed-wetting, bullying, and cruelty to animals
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Lack of interest in friends, sports, and other activities
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Sexual behavior and language that are not age-appropriate
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Be aware that in some children there are no signs whatsoever.
Step 5- React Fast and Responsibly
Parent/Guardian is your responsibility to react appropriately to suspicion, disclosure, or discovery of abuse. Only 4% to 8% of reports of all sexual abuse are false.
What is disclosure means?
Disclosure of sexual abuse means a child trust you enough to tell you what's going on. It is the moment to teach your child that they being heard and understood and you will stand up for him/her.
DON’T OVERREACT
Control your reaction when your kid disclose to you about sexual abuses. Instead seek for medical and legal help immediately.